For this letter, I was requested to write to my sibling or closest family letter... and that didn't make it easy. After all, you are one of two sisters I have, and whilst this letter may seem vague enough to be either of you, at the same time I want to be deliberate in how I write this. And yet, to the both of you I could think of some things to say, but not a great deal perhaps.
Us three sisters have never been terribly close (which is also why I considered using a close family member as an option, but that seemed like a cop out and caused more problems than it solved). Thinking about it, in all honesty I don't feel amazingly close to any of my family, except for my gorgeous niece and nephew. I think I've always been closer to my friends. And I think that is also how our family dynamic works. We rarely confided in each other, certainly we have done things to upset and annoy each other, and even simple tasks couldn't be done as teamwork. But, that doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I don't care when someone hurts you or upsets you. I would defend you with my life, although if you were in the wrong I would also point that out to you. Noone abuses my sisters. Except perhaps me. And that pretty much sums up our relationship I think.
But there is one thing I want you to know. I am proud of you. Yes, you've made mistakes. And sometimes you don't seem to learn from them and I want to hit you around the head. But at the same time I know you are trying your hardest. And I know it's hard. Especially sometimes with mum and dad it can feel like they have expectations of us, or want to dictate our lives. But that's not really the case. It's just how they express their concern and worry of us. And I know it's upsetting when they shout and yell at you, and I know mum is especially prone to this, but it's only how she expresses her disappointment and worry, especially with everything going on.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. Whether it's from me or others. Your family do love you, even if we're not the best at showing it. You have friends who care. And beyond that there are various groups who can help as well. Support is so important but humans are such independent creatures we sometimes think asking for help is a show of weakness. But it's not. Someone else will have been through the same as you, they can offer experience and guidance. Or if nothing else they can offer someone to vent at.
I'm older, and I know sometimes I act wiser, but I'm not. Maybe in some things I have more experience, and I know as children I may have shadowed over you, it is the unfortunate thing of having an older sibling. But as we got older, our experiences differed. You know more about something than I do, and whilst I want to help, sometimes I am out of my depth. But I will always do all I can for you.
I hope you don't think I tell our parents everything we talk about. I worry about you, so yes, sometimes I will tell them in order that they can support you better. But I use my judgement and I will either not tell them if I feel it's up to you or that they don't need to know, or I will word it carefully. And if you ever asked me not to tell them I wouldn't, but I would advise against secrets. I know you know you have some hard habits to break, and I know you are trying hard. I know you are in a difficult position, with a lot of people to try and please. But be honest. Although it feels like these people might try and trap you, if you lie and they find out, it is a lot worse in the long run. You have worked and tried hard to get where you are. Don't ruin it now with those bad habits. Be honest and ask if you ever need help.
I know I am far away in some regards now, and I know I can't be the first point of call in emergencies. But remember, I will always be here if you need me. I will never abandon you. And, dearest sister, as soppy as it is, I will always love you.
Your big sister. xxx
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